We just couldn’t squeeze all the things we wanted to say about being a first-time mother and how to handle this brand new world in our last post (and the one before that, for that matter), so we decided to turn this into an informal series dedicated to offering up some tips for first-time mothers. We are a Tri-Cities midwife clinic that believes in providing well-rounded, comprehensive healthcare for women in and around Pasco, Kennewick, and Richland. As we noted at the end of our last post, we have only just begun to scratch the surface of all that we would like to say regarding this topic, so we might as well dive straight into the advice-giving. Read on if you’d like some encouragement and words you’ll hopefully deem wise about being a mother for the very first time. We love talking and writing about this, so we hope you enjoy today’s post as much as we did composing it!
Embrace The Positives
Say it with me, “it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be alright. All will be well. All manner of things will be well.” Remember, you come from a lineage of hundreds and thousands of successful mothers. How do we know? You are here, living, breathing, and reading this blog post, right? All their efforts culminate to bring about you, so that you can carry on the tradition of motherhood, if you so wish. All their instincts and genetic wisdom are stored inside you, so don’t worry — you got this!
Nicole Feliciano of Mom Trends has this to say about being a mother for the first time: “It’s going to be so much fun! You hear the stories of stress and no sleep and of the big powerful love, but rarely do new parents tell you about all the giggles. I’ve become a much lighter and happier person after having kids. And though there are plenty of challenges, there’s also lots more laughter in the house.”
It’s easy for most of us to focus on the negatives. Even in some the blog posts of the past that we’ve written, we can’t help but focus on some of the pitfalls that you might experience. And while there certainly is a place for offering words of warning (along with an appropriate place to vent a little bit about not getting any sleep, private time, or peace in quiet at all), Nicole raises a great point about how we need to appreciate the positives. There is a simple joy in having a young one that is as close to inexpressible in words as you can get. And no, you won’t be on cloud nine every single moment of the day, and that’s okay. Just take a moment to appreciate the good times when they come by.
Don’t Try To Find A Blog Post For Every Single Thing That Happens
Seriously, resist the urge, even if you want to read a Deanna D. blog post first. We’d be flattered, but do your mental health a service by not stressing yourself out every time your little one exhibits what you think might be a symptom. Likewise, don’t stress yourself out if your little tike isn’t exactly where all our baby books say they should be in a particular developmental area.
You might have the urge to find a blog about every single thing that could go wrong, but trust us — in the long run, you’ll realize that you only ended up giving yourself a headache and some heartburn, if you’re anything like us.
Labor: How To Handle The Pain
Let’s back it up a little bit and talk about the labor experience. As we all know, pain is part and parcel of giving birth, and there’s not much we can do to avoid it to one degree or another. Yet each woman has her own tolerance levels, and that means that every woman going through labor might need to try different approaches to do their best to manage the pain and stay somewhat comfortable.
Here are a few tips regarding pain relief and management:
- Try water therapy. Laying down in the tub can take some of the pressure off, and the soothing thermal energy of the hot water can do wonders.
- Lightly massage your abdomen, in a technique that is known as effleurage.
- Get your back, neck, and shoulders rubbed by someone. It could be anyone — your partner, your mom, a stranger — we won’t discriminate. At some point, you might just want to grab the human that is the closest to you and demand they give you a world-class massage. Hey, it’s worth a shot.
- Use your trusty relaxation and breathing techniques. You know the ones. It’s time to put them to good use.
- Rotate your position if you feel like you just can’t get comfortable. Try resting on all fours, sitting down on your toilet for an extended period of time, doing the pelvic rock back and forth, and whatever else you muster up that will relieve the pain for a little bit!
- Be mindful of who you let into your home while labor is approaching. If the mother-in-law stresses you out, then tell your partner to make sure they don’t have the opportunity to do so for the time being. Hey, you’re the one who is pregnant, so treat yourself a little bit. Otherwise, we recommend setting up a particular room (maybe your bedroom) to be a place of serenity. Find the perfect candle, turn on some tranquil music. Do your thing.
Other recommended approaches we found included meditating, prayer or religious practices, getting a support-person to rub a tennis ball on your back, and even applying cold or warm compresses to soothe. Don’t be afraid to try all of these or just a few. The most important thing is that you stay comfortable, so never feel guilty for prioritizing yourself during these moments. After all, you’ll only have your first child once.
Get in touch with us at Deanna D. Midwifery to schedule your appointment with the Tri-Cities midwife clinic of choice!